The Perfect Cargo Shorts
Woe unto the dad who forgoes this functional fashion statement
Whether you’re visiting a theme park, camping, hiking in the wilderness or taking your family through a museum there is one universal dad truth…it’s your job to carry stuff.
There’s some deeper wisdom there if you want to overanalyze it, but ultimately it’s true. We carry the cargo whether’s its the family backpack, the exhausted child on our shoulders or any other gear.
The moment that you make peace with that is the moment that you start thinking…
“I need some extra pockets…”
- You
Now, ultimately we all know that society at large does not fully accept cargo shorts. They will throw stones…but you will have the pockets to hold those stones.
One of the first steps in this journey is realizing that this lack of acceptance is more about them than you. You are secure enough in your manhood that you value both form and function, realizing that every cargo carrying step with your family is more important than anyone else’s fashion sense.
The sheer utility of cargo shorts overwhelms any public acceptance that others may think you require. You sir, are an early adopter. A trendsetter. A dad who needs to hold stuff.
Some of the criticism is warranted. Just as with cars, toasters, coffee pots and phones some are better designed than others. Many early variations of cargo shorts had huge pockets that jutted out from the sides. They were often so big that anything inside them would bounce around relentlessly, bumping into you, turning into a jumbled mess. If you were extremely unlucky, they may even tug down enough to make you look like the plumbers of old.
Luckily for all of us, the innovators out there have continued pushing forward to refine these designs into what we now know as…the perfect cargo shorts. Appropriately named, the APEX Short from 5.11 Tactical is the pinnacle of cargo carrying luxury dad fashion.
The cargo pockets have such a clean seam that most people would never even notice them, until that moment where you say, “Give me the 4 water bottles…I’ve got this.”
And you do as each pocket includes 2 seperate stretchable interior pockets that will comfortably hold a water bottle in place vertically without it bouncing around while you walk. Even if you’re not carrying water bottles, this give you 3 separate pockets within your cargo pocket to keep items separate for easier accessibility.
These shorts are also Teflon treated to repel stains, soil and moisture while packing an impressive 10 total pockets on board. The material even includes a comfortable stretch waistband because it knows that after a day of carrying the load, a dad’s gotta eat.
I can personally vouch for these. It’s as good as it gets.
Sure, you could just carry a family backpack but then everytime somebody needs something you have to stop, taking the pack off, dig through it and then repeat the process everytime something needs to go back in.
It’s a nightmare that you no longer have to suffer in unstylish silence. The perfect cargo shorts are waiting for you.
You’ve got this…in the cargo pockets.
